As human beings, we always have a choice. And often times, it’s a decision between what we want to do and what we don’t. To choose whether or not we will get out of bed in the morning after a restless night, go to work again in that same monotonous job, put dinner on the table after a long day, play with our kids when were just too busy, call that friend you know could use someone but you just don’t have the words…

The same goes for love. What exactly is love? How is it possible to define something that has been so warped and so misrepresented in movies, music, books and magazines over the years? And how do we know if or when we have achieved it?

Well, lets start with some simple grammar: Love is an action word-it’s a verb.

Love isn’t just a feeling, its a choice which means we have to do it. We have to choose whether or not we will love someone and that isn’t only when we “feel” like it. Like I said up top, getting out of bed, getting to work on time, playing with our kids or calling that friend to check in is usually not what we feel like doing-in fact, sometimes it’s the last thing we want to do right? But we do it anyways. Love does that too. Real authentic love ‘does’ in spite of how we are feeling in the moment or how deserving somebody is to receive our sacrifice.

The best example that I can think of, the ultimate act of love, the biggest sacrifice freely made and freely given was Jesus’ death on the cross. He came to die for us so that we could be made new. So that we could live. We never deserved it and yet he did it anyways. Even when it wasn’t convenient, when it was scary, painful and lonely he did it all because he chose to love.

So… surprise! Love is not easy. We are literally putting aside our wants, needs and desires and thinking of somebody else’s instead. Somebody undeserving, unworthy and even someone who may not realize that they need it- actually somebody like you and somebody like me. Jesus loves us and sometimes we still think that we don’t need it; that we can do it all by ourselves, were independent! We don’t need help-we got this. But the thing is we don’t have it all together and we will never stop needing to be loved. We will always need help.

We not only have to love others, but we have to allow ourselves to be loved. We may not feel like we deserve it or are worthy of it (because we aren’t!) but that’s the scandalous act of love! Jesus loves us so we had better get used to it.

To paraphrase some wise words written long ago by a man named Paul: Love doesn’t get jealous, it doesn’t look for self promotion, it doesn’t get angry easily or dishonor others. Love is choosing to be patient when we feel impatient, to be kind when others are cruel, to be gentle when someone is harsh, to trust when we have been betrayed. Love perseveres against all odds, hopes when we feel hopeless and doesn’t keep track of wrong acts committed against us.

Loving and being loved is the most rewarding thing, but like all things that bring reward, it’s going to take a lot of work. The question is, are you up for the challenge to love?